Metal Mondays - As I Lay Dying's "The Blinding of False Light

Rarely do metal groups have such a great marriage between mechanical technical precision and beautiful brutality as does As I Lay Dying.  What they do that is powerful is that they understand not only what they are doing in a lyrical sense but also are masters in understanding their medium.  What I mean by this is heavy riffage and machine-gun double base drums are meant to illicit an uncomfortable emotion.  They are one of the champions at making you feel uncomfortable but this is precisely where they shine.  This is one of those groups if you are a Metalcore fan you must bathe in the greatness of this band.  Arriving on the scene in 2001 with an emphatic bang they have yet to go out with a whimper.  The song I will be keying in on is the last track on their 2010 release entitled “The Powerless Rise” entitled The Blinding of False Light:

I was unable to find a YouTube video for it but here is the song embedded:

“I see now... I see through the veil of expectation.
I see now... I see that conformity is betrayal.

Betrayal of those who are forgotten, yet vision alone furthers our blame.
Unless followed by transformation, it is pointless to be given sight.
Without the hope of our reaction, we overlook the purpose of our eyes.

Now is our chance to breathe without tyranny, released from the blinding of false light.
(blinding of false light) Now is our chance to breathe without tyranny.
In weakness we are freed...

I see now... I see that conformity is betrayal.

With empty eyes I looked ahead (ahead), with clarity I now look back...

Now is our chance to breathe without tyranny, released from the blinding of false light (blinding of false light).
Now is our chance (our chance) to breathe without... without tyranny.
In weakness we are freed... Yeah...

I admit my failure. Opacity has dulled my senses.
Conformity (conformity) controlled by lifeless vices. Oh... Yeah...
Covetousness (covetousness) disguised as ambition.
But now it ends... But now it ends... But now it ends...
But now it ends, not with defeat but determination... We are freed... Yeah...

Now is our chance to breathe without tyranny, released from the blinding of false (false) light (light).
Now is our chance... Now is...our chance... In weakness we are freed...”

Much like I did last week and in true Baptist preacher fashion I will offer three points that I find to be striking

1.       There is a real sense we get what it means to be reborn in the John 3 sense that as a part of the new birth we are given new eyes.  However, it is such the case in the Christians life where we have the new eyes but as the song goes we completely ignore the purpose of them.  The purpose of our new eyes is to see things as God sees them.  We are to then see our sin for what it is namely a blatant offense of God.  Also we are to see the people of this world in the redemptive sense meaning that as Christ was sense on mission so we should be in the world.  This is grace upon grace that we can begin to see things in the way that God does.  Also that we might be able to see the Saviour as who he truly is.

2.       False doctrine is tyrannical.  There is a darkness disguised as light out there.  There is a light that takes us captive and like light to the flies we are attracted to it which ultimately leads to our death.  The reason is that it takes us captive as wants us to turn from the real teachings of freedom in Christ into slavery to sin.  All false teaching is bondage to idolatry which is flows from our pluralistic coexisting society in which syncretism is the norm and Diversity is strutted about as a virtue.  Christian let this be a lesson to you if the world views something as virtuous it is above all else a damnable vice. 

3.       This song has empowered me to employ a sanctified rebellion against the things of this world.  The line in the song where it says “But now it ends, not with defeat but determination... We are freed... Yeah” coupled with “In weakness we are freed”  has really encouraged me because in order to employ that sanctified rebellion against the world it starts off in humble admiration of our King and being in submission to what he has to say.  Then going forth from the decree of God we go, because we have determination because we know that for us death has been defeated so what do we have to fear. 

Metal Mondays – Demon Hunter “Deteriorate”

For those of you who know me know that one of my loves is the musical genre Heavy Metal.  What I want to do is every Monday highlight a song that has helped me along the way.  I know that this is an often misjudged and misunderstood genre but believe me there are some bands out there that are doing great things for the Kingdom and are speaking to a subculture in this generation that needs the light even more.  So without further ado here the first song that I will be discussing and that is Demon Hunter’s “Deteriorate”.  

 

Here are the lyrics to the song so that you can follow along

“Time has had it's way with me.
My broken tired hands cant build a thing.
The wires that have held me still embedded now in flesh to find my will.
The idle of my days is won, the empty I have fed has made me numb,
Despite what you will find in me.

The failures of my past just swirl beneath.

[Pre-chorus:]
I need a heart that carries on through the pain
When the walls start collapsing again.
Give me a soul that never ceases to follow,
Despite the infection within

[Chorus:]
Our careless feet leaving trails
Neverminding the fragile dirt we all end in.
Our careless feet leaving trails
Neverminding the fragile dirt we all end in.

This is where I find my fall the cares that held me alive don't work at all.
And every step away from here is closer to the plague I hold so dear.

I need a heart that carries on through the pain,
When the walls start collapsing again.
Give me a soul that never ceases to follow despite the infection within

Awaiting my end breathing in the day that finds me new.
Redemption begins bleeding out the flaws in place of you.
Awaiting my end breathing in the day that finds me new.
Redemption begins Redemption Begins.”

There are three things that I would like to highlight in this song that have struck me as very powerful:

1.       The first is the pre-chorus because that is a battle in which I fight every single day.  I pray that the LORD will give me a heart that never ceases to follow despite the infection within.  This is such a great reminder that I need the Gospel on a daily basis because without it I would be going astray.

2.       The chorus is a powerful reminder of what happens when we don’t travel the narrow road.  We are as the old hymn goes “Prone to wonder lord I feel it/Prone to leave the God I love”.  This proclivity arises because we are so focused on the here and now and what makes us feel good.  This YOLO mentality keeps us from understanding that we know not the number of our days and it is in this ignorance that we do not have the end in sight.  So we do need to be reminded of our fragility not in a fearful way but as reverence for the One who has created us

3.       There is a story in Luke 11:24-26 where the one demon is swept out of the house and it comes back finding it clean it returns with it seven more.  This is the case in our lives when we try and get rid of a particular sin but do not replace it with Grace.  An example is that I might combat my sin of low-self-esteem with gluttony and the gluttony might be in fact worse.  The line is the song that I really like is where they say “Redemption begins bleeding out the flaws in place of you.”  So true Redemption on a daily basis is cruciform meaning that we die to ourselves because in doing so we find real Life.

On Triune Love

To comprehend and to think of such a thing as the Trinity

Is the same to behold and to understand infinity

The point in all this is not to be all intellectual and heady

However, in all things to offer a defense we must be ready

Because what a better thing to set the mind upon

Such a great thing to have the will to latch on

God being One but also being Three

Yes the Great “I am” but also the Great “We”

Such a thing is wrought in ineffable mystery

But this is the basis for all of history

For it was on this the foundation of the world was built

Not even sin would cause this Community to wilt

Sacrificially perfect, pure and serene in themselves

For what keeps us not inside that world is the sin in ourselves

This entity is not monolithic in the Islamic sense

Because Allah has no love only evil recompense

Nor polytheistic as in the gods of Roman or Greek myth

For megalomania and narcissism are their essence and pith

The three we speak of is the Father, Son, and Spirit

The Greatness is such in that commune that we should seek to fear it

Expressions of love within this commune are anti-clandestine

For the glory we see, is them crying “yours” not “mine”

For it was the Father who gave The Son the earth

This gift was wrought in Joy and great mirth

The Father gives the Spirit free-flowing reign

To manifest Himself much to the devil’s distain

The Son gives to the father much praise due his great Name

Of which to manifest to His sheep so that they might do the same

The Son gives to the Spirit believers who are born anew

Of which He loves to dwell in those whom sin has not slew

The Spirit gives to the Father a great internal witness

That works itself to bring the heart to great fitness

The Spirit gives to the Son lasting evidence of His sacrifice

A True spoken testimony which will more than suffice

What we often overlook in this and fail to embrace

Is wrought in our lack of gratitude for this manifest of grace

For this Triune God who rules and is full of Benevolence

Could have hid Himself and all His prevalence

However, in His eternal and magnificent glory

Saw fit that He should include us in His story

Because this is the warp and woof of He being the great giver

For he gives of Himself to us in His Son as a Deliverer

This sacrifice of love is the only door to enter in

It is only in this where we see His grace within

Because being united to The Son in his Death

Is the only way we have living breath

Be Comforted

Be Comforted oh child of Grace

Be Comforted as you tarry on this race

Be Comforted as you reside in His Power

Be Comforted even when rest has not visited you this hour

Be Comforted even in your deepest season of pain

Be Comforted for in eternity will it no longer remain

Be Comforted because in Jesus we find life

Be Comforted for in Him there is no more strife

Be Comforted He is the great high King

Be Comforted for this pain shall no longer sting

Be Comforted for soon we shall see His Light
Be Comforted for He shall keep you with all of His might

Be Comforted for He lived the life you could not

Be Comforted for the great war of sin He fought

Be Comforted for He drank the great cup of wrath

Be Comforted for the Fathers justice was His bath

Be Comforted for the Son of God is your great high priest

Be Comforted He does not fail to intercede for you in the least

Be Comforted for in Him rests infinite joy

Be Comforted for His attitude toward you is anything but coy

Be Comforted!

Paralyzing Perfectionism

There is something that I have seemed to have been struggling with my whole life.  Wait I don’t like that sentence.  There is a struggle within myself that I have some to realize about myself that I don’t want to put up with anymore.  Nope don’t like that either.  I seem to have realized over the past year or so that I struggle with a particular flaw that is in me.  That was the worst sentence I have ever typed.  I have acquired the understanding that I am dealing with a flaw in me that is not good.  What, do you suck at writing?!?! There is this thing within me that I notice that causes me a lot of pain and anguish.   Gosh! Seriously! Somewhere the inventors of sentence structure are vomiting in their grave at your attempt to write a sentence.  Ok, I admit it I struggle a lot in a particular area in life.  I mean seriously bro, it’s called writing have you ever heard of it, you know what you might as well just give up because there is no way that you can write this at all well.

Ok, here goes, I, Ryan Anthony Romano, am a perfectionist (After saying that I hear the room resound in a dull roar “Hi Ryan”).  However, I have come to realize that I am the worst kind of perfectionist.  I am one of the highest order.  Invoking Paul, I am the chief of perfectionists.  I am one that is a paralyzing perfectionist that finds its release in procrastination.  Allow me for a minute to unpack what I mean by this.  I have this inner desire to do/be the best at everything that I do.  Let me be perfectly clear, this is a very good thing that I desire.  There is within every one of us the desire to do something well and that a good thing.  However, where it is damaging for me is when in renders itself in the fact that I know that when I do something I know that I will not be 100% in not only the completion but even in the process as well I give up.  So, one of two things happens for me in this struggle and these two feed on each other.  I think about my task and I realize the process that it is going to take to complete the task and I get overwhelmed.  Why? because even in the process of the task I am not going to do it well.  So, the task usually gets put off until I can do it better.  However, this is not good because I have wasted much of the time that is needed to do the task on worrying that I am not going to do this well.  As a result of this my allocation of time to complete this task has severely decreased and then as a self-fulfilling prophecy I end up doing a (pardon the expression) half-assed job.

However, I have come to realize that this just doesn’t make itself manifest in tasks but in other areas of life as well and in these areas it is very damaging.  Sure I have good intentions most if not all of the time but as the old cliché goes the road to hell is paved with good intentions ( I normally HATE this expression but in this case I feel it is a good proxy for what is going on).  So, allow me for a second to dive into areas of my life and expose how this is realized in each.  Some are current and others are foreseeable roles that I am in or will be

Student – I think that I need to have PHD level smartness already.  I think to myself that I am not smart enough and that there are concepts that are just too hard.  Instead of taking an active humble approach and saying I don’t get this but I am going to try with all my might to understand this.  I, instead, employ a pridefull passive approach and think that maybe latter I will understand this. (insert sarcasm) yeah because that is precisely how this works (end sarcasm).  However at this later day the work that I end up doing is not to the standards that it should be.  I cannot count the number of assignments that I have done that have been turned in and not done well because of this, thus me and my professor not being satisfied with  the work that I am doing.

Friend – I feel like I have let a lot of people down because I have not as, Pastor Mark Janke at FSC has drummed into my head like an eastern mantra, “Just Shown Up”.  It’s not that I don’t love each and every one of my friends.  I just feel like I will let everyone down if I am not giving it my all and my pride says if you can’t be there 100% then don’t be there at all.  I see that there are so many struggles that people are having and if there was just someone to be there for them then everything would be better.  I know that there are a lot of people who have said that they just wanted someone to be there for them.  So I interpret this as I need to be there for them all the time.  So once again if I cannot be there 100% then why even try.

Brother/Son – Mom, Dad, Matt and Allison.  I feel like there are times in which you guys have all in your certain areas have been there for me in ways that I cannot begin to even thank you for.  However, I feel like I have not been there for you guys as I have needed to be.  I know that we have been through a lot over the past two-years but in my pride of not being able to give it 100% I have at times pulled back. I know that you guys would tell me otherwise but there is something that is within me that feels like there is more that I could have done.

Pastor – As some of you know I have the burning desire to be a pastor someday and want so badly to lead a flock.  I have seen the future and realize that when it comes to doing what I want to do I am going to be struggling with this area.  The ways that I see this being manifested is in two areas.  I will go with preaching and pastoral care.  I just have to face it right now that there are going to be some sermons that I am going to preach that will be not good and that the Lord even works in terrible sermons.  Also this is going to happen in pastoral care because of the fact that I am going to be pulled in a number of different areas that I am not going to be able to give 100% to.  If this pattern continues this will lead me to retreat and do much damage to the flock in which God will entrust me to.

Father – I know that this will impact me in the future if I the Lord blesses me with having kids.  I have heard stories in the past couple of month of fathers who were absent.  I can see this happening if current trends continue.  My absence will not be because of the fact that I do not love them but because of that very fact.  I will love them so much that I will wish that they had a better father who loved them and took care of them more than I do.  

Husband – Much in the same way that the kids are going to be if trends continue.  I feel like I will not be a good husband because of my lack of love but because I will not be able to love her perfectly

Child of God – I will admit right now.  I do not pray as much as I should.  I don’t read my Bible as much as I should.  I do not do much of the things that I should be doing as well as I should.  Worst off I do not do it perfectly as I should.  So in my lack of ability I pull back because at the end of the day I don’t want to disappoint God because He deserves much better than I can give.

So, the question that I ask myself is what is really going on.  Often times the issue is not really the issue.  In the tangled mess known as sin there is often a deeper one that is the real cause.  I want to take the very last thing that I said in the previous role (ie child of God) and say that is what is at the root of my paralyzing perfectionism.  The last thing that I said was “I don’t want to disappoint God because He deserves much better than I can give”  This is the case with all the roles that I fill in my life.  My studies, friends, family (current/future), flock, and God deserve much more then I can give.  To show my hand right now is that the root of all this sin in my life is that I have a major messiah complex that wants to be the hero for everything.  It is precisely in the overwhelming desire to be the hero that I in actuality become the villain because there is actually only one true Hero and that would be Jesus.  My “sacrifice” leads to damnation but His sacrifice leads to eternal life and freedom.

The freeing truth that I have realized is that with an emphatic and hearty amen I can say that yes you all unequivocally deserve MUCH more than I can give.  His name is Jesus.  The freeing truth that I have come to realize is that all my life and in every role that I serve I need to be John the baptizer in preparing /pointing the way of the Lord. The is so freeing because instead of being paralyzed I arise to action because it is no long I who live but Christ who lives in me. I Do NOT need to be the Lord.  I need to humbly serve him in all endeavors both in the ends and the means of what I am doing.  So, the thing that I need everyone to keep me accountable for is not for my perfection but my sanctification.  If I ever try and be your messiah call me out on it so that I know if I am not pointing you to the one who made me and created me to be the way that I am.  Oh that my whole life would be to the service of His great and glorious Kingdom not my pathetic kingdom of one.

Gossip – Romans 1:29

There are a lot of things that are talked about in the church today from the pulpit in a negative tone.  We are quick to hear sermons on things that we are not doing well and we are also quick to hear sermons on things that we need to be better at.  An example of this is that the issue of pornography is a major issue that is preached from the pulpit (rightfully so).  However, the danger that I see that is happening in the context of the church is the fact that we simply are too afraid to talk about those sins that are commonplace in the church, that as I will argue do more harm than some of the major sins.  The issue that comes up with regards to what I will call the major sins is that there is some shame that is associated with them.  Most often times a person is not going to want to talk about their pornography issues because they feel guilty about it.  This would most likely be the case that if a person is in the community of believers and they were struggling with same-sex attraction.  These are what we would classify as some of the bigger sins.

However, the point that I want to address is what about those sins that seem “normal”.  There is a book penned by author Jerry Bridges called “Respectable Sins” and in this work Bridges makes the claim that some sins are viewed as respectable because they are sins in which the “average” Christian struggles with on a daily basis.  Bridges claims that this does not mean that they are right.  I would place the issue of gossip amongst those that would fall into this category because let’s face it who hasn’t gossiped.  Who has not told something about someone that may or may not be true?  Who has not started a sentence with “hey did you hear what so-and-so did?  Who hasn’t had that scintillating feeling of being the first to break a story about some event pertaining to someone’s life that is not yet verifiable by facts?  In the TMZ era in which we find ourselves this is what I would call one of the “sins de jour” that we are facing as a church.  I am concerned that with the social connectedness (on and off-line) that this could become a major issue that we are facing.

So the question that you are asking yourself is what’s the big deal about a little gossip?  There are three reasons why this is such a big deal.  The first is that it is not fostering a love of neighbor.  The whole point of gossip is in a sense a de-humanizing of another person because it is seeking to spread information about them that is detrimental to their character or something that is based upon a lack of all the information that is present.  It makes the person of whom you are gossiping about an object of your scintillations.  Along that same line of thought it makes the person that you are gossiping with a co-conspirator in the act of sinning thus being a stumbling block to them.  Secondly, this does not work itself out in the love of God.  The first sin ever committed against God had an element of gossip in it because the serpent set out to misrepresent God in His dealings with man.  He sought to spread rumors about what God had really meant.  He was using his own interpretations of the facts that God had laid out a command to the man and the woman that were in the garden.  Statements that he made to Eve were misrepresentations of the character of God.  He was in essence spreading gossip about God.  So, when we engage in gossip we fundamentally pollute the way that God had intended for things to be and this is not love because we are loving the lie and not the truth.  The third reason why gossip is bad is because in reality the focus is not completely about the other person or about God it is, at its core, about us.  It makes us the center of the universe that when we have divulged the information that we wanted to we are filled will all matter of pride because we were the one who broke the news.  This takes the focus off of serving God and serving others.

So in conclusion why is this so important to write on?  Paul says that we are not to use the freedom that we have as an opportunity of the flesh because if we do then we will bite and devour one another (Galatians 5:13-15).  Too often we are quick to talk about “those fornicators”, “those homosexuals”, and “those adulterers” because that is the easy thing to do because most of us are not in that boat and it leaves people feeling comfortable where they are at not dealing with the decay of their souls due to sin in their life.  However, I the reason that this is something that I think needs attention because it is not going to be the big sins that wreck the church or a group from the inside.  It is the smaller sins that waste away group much like a parasite does to its host.  It may take a while but sooner than later the host will be dead and so it will be for the church as well.

So in response to this let us bow and submit ourselves to Jesus who said that he is The Way, The TRUTH, and the Life.